People file for divorce for a wide variety of reasons, although some of the most common reasons these days have to do with alcohol or drug dependency, gambling or infidelity, although a great many people file because of financial problems. However, it almost doesn’t matter, since Connecticut is a no-fault state and the parties only have to claim irreconcilable differences to file for a divorce.
All sorts of people file for divorce; I’ve seen equal numbers of male and female clients in my office, and the number of years they’ve been married varies widely, although the ten-year mark seems to be a popular time to divorce; almost as popular as when the kids go off to college. All told, though, there really is no set number of years of marriage before they get divorced.
Men and women usually do have different approaches to divorce, though. Women most often come to me because of their husband’s dependency issues, or due to financial problems as a result of his unemployment or underemployment. Women usually care about the kids more and worry more about getting sufficient support to be able to continue to run the household for herself and the kids.
On the other hand, men come at divorce more from a financial angle, especially when it comes to child support and spousal support. They tend to just see that they’re giving money to their ex-wife, but don’t see it going to the children; that she’s spending it all for herself. They tend not to notice that she has to pay the mortgage or the rent, as well as for utilities and food. As for spousal support, the ex-wife doesn’t have to account for that or spend it on the children.
What Are Some Common Misconceptions About Divorce?
One big misconception is that the woman always gets custody of the children, whereas nowadays the courts are much fairer to men, and many of them end up as primary caretakers. Also, it is possible for a man to be eligible for alimony, if the wife made substantially more than he did. Most of the biggest misconceptions are based on old stereotypes regarding men and women.
Another misconception has to do with communication; that the parties shouldn’t have contact with each other, and that’s just not true. The parties can’t threaten their spouse or send threatening messages by email or text or leave threatening voice mail, but other than that, the more communication between the parties, the better.
For more information on Divorce Basics, a free initial consultation is your best next step. Get the information and legal answers you’re seeking by calling (203) 929-7771 today.
Get your questions answered - call me for your free, 20 min phone consultation (203) 929-7771